Since you came inside my life, you've given me the best in you everyday and night. I felt my happiness in you make me wanna ride to the end of any valley. Then you give me piece of mind. You bring me comfort to my soul, give me such a high. No I will never let you know, make me wanna fly to the top of every rainbow. ~I love you more everyday. You show me love in every way. There's nothing left for me to say, but I love you~ So promise me you'll never leave. You never say this is the end, you'll spend your life with me. You'll be my husband and my best friend, raise a family, something we both can treasure. So won't you come and fly with me, forever you and me. That's how it's supposed to be, I love you only. I won't stop loving you, and I won't stop kissing you. You're the reason why I smile. And I won't stop holding you, and I won't stop loving you.
Let me be yours tonight, hold me in your arms all night. Leave the world far behind, take me high to your paradise. ~You are the one I love, you are the one I need. You're the only one in my heart, baby come save me~ The touch of your hand can take all my pain away. And the sound of your voice heals my soul, forever I'm yours. Baby I love you, and I can't live without you. I can't imagine how life would be without you. You make my world complete, you mean the world to me. Come and save me cuz I want to be your love.
I would give up everything before I'd separate myself from you. After so much suffering, I finally found unvarnished truth. I was all by myself for the longest time, so cold inside. And the hurt from the heartache would not subside. I felt like dying until you saved my life. ~Thank God I found you. I was lost without you. My every wish and every dream somehow became reality when you bought the sunlight, completed my whole life. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude cuz baby I'm so thankful I found you~ I would give you everything. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to insure your happiness. I cherish every part of you cuz without you beside me I can't survive, don't want to try. If you're keeping me warm each and every night, I'll be alright, because I need you in my life. See I was so desolate before you came to me. Looking back, I guess it shows that we were destined to shine after the rain to appreciate the gift of what we have, and I'd go through it all over again to be able to feel this way.
For all the times that we, we ever wouldn't be. Look at us baby, look at us now. For everyday that I should have you by my side. We'll make it baby, look at us now. For every night I pray, I know that you will stay. Look at us baby, look at us now. Remembering the time our love was not so fine. We made it baby, look at us now. Baby look at us. Everybody believed we would never be, look at us up above. We are so in love. Everyday in your arms, baby can't go wrong. We are strong, look at us now. For every night I dream together you and me. Look at us baby, look at us now. You're like a flower bloom, the glowing of the moon. We'll make it baby, look at us now. For everyone believe that we could never be. Look at us baby, look at us now. Now all the hurt is gone, I knew it all along. We made it baby, look at us now. Baby look at us. For every night I dream, the more I do believe. Look at us baby, look at us now. All cleared up in the sky our love was meant tonight. We'll make it baby, look at us now. And all you ever do, I know you would be true. Look at us baby, look at us now. A story of a guy is one to never die. We'll make it baby, look at us now. Baby look at us.
Sitting here alone with only memories of the past. Just you and I and the wildest of our dreams. You held me close and whisper sweet words in my ear. How my heart just seems to beat when you say "hi". You give me love, that look in your eyes. You bring light into my life, you would always remain in my mind. There is only you in my heart, nothing's gonna change now. There is only you in my heart, now and forever more. Let us bring us to eternity, lets not live with only memories, cuz I know we hide our feelings, oh my love.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all? I never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now. We'll make it through, and I hope you are the one I share my life with. ~I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?~ If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my husband? I don't know why you're so far away, but I know that this much is true. We'll make it through, and I hope you are the one I share my life with. And I wish that you could be the one I die with. And I pray that you're the one I build my home with. I hope I love you all my life. I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away. And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today. Cuz I love you, whether it's wrong or right, and though I can't be with you tonight, know my heart is by your side.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping, watch you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever, cuz every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. ~I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, cuz I'd miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing. Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing~ Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together. And I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever. I don't wanna miss one smile. I don't wanna miss one kiss. I just wanna be with you right here with you, just like this. I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine and just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time.
A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your handsome face. A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same. But all the miles have separate. They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face. ~I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight boy, it's only you and me~ The miles just keep rolling as the people leave their way to say hello. I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope it gets better as we go. Everything I know and anywhere I go, it gets hard but it won't take away my love. And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done, it gets hard but it won't take away my love.
itz strange how u dont notice ppl who are before your very eyes. u never realize how special they are to u, or would be to u, cuz u never really gave them a chance. here I have been, stressing out over something far away when whats good for me was in front of me all along. I dont want to be clichéd and say I'm still young so I should date around and see whats out there. it is possible to find *the one* now and be with them the rest of ur life (ahem Siran *_~). I guess I got caught up in the love and had my mind set on he is the only one for me and I'm not interested in anyone else. well not until I gave another person another chance did I realize I was so wrong. ironically right now I am at my happiest than I have ever been in the last 2 months.
-itz so great to have that feeling again of having a crush, wondering if he likes u (or still likes u in this case), and then that great moment when it comes out that u both like each other (happy ending, thank goodness). this, I must say, is one of the greatest feeling in the world. its so middle-schoolish but so kute. hard to believe but last time I went through this was last year so its great to relive the experience, only with a different person. I really didnt expect myself to fall for him, but I find that the more I hang with him, the more I like him. maybe its bad of me to get over someone so quick but there really is no point in moping around. as long as it makes me happy, which I am very much of. its so corny but every morning when I wake up, I cant help but smile cuz I know I'll see him that day. yea, school actually has a purpose now, haha. every night we talk for bout 2 to 3 hours, something I've never done with any of my bfs before. yetttt, hes not my bf...
-so yes, the question thats been asked a lot lately. no...we are not going out. will we? I don't know. I like how things are now, light and not too serious. we have the committment but its not said. I just want something physical right now, not emotionally...lol jk...hehe. he'll be graduating soon so I just want to make the best of the month and a half we have left. I know we're both busy this summer so I just wanna worry bout right now, even tho theres no worries in this "relationship", only smiles *_*.
they sold tickets to the talent show for freshmen and sophomores yesterday during lunch. I was in law gym and the sophomore tickets were sold in ramsey gym. there was no way in hell I was gonna walk all the way across campus to buy a ticket. so I got Kayla to buy tickets with me from law gym, which was where the freshman tickets were sold...hehe. we decided to rush to law gym to be the first ones so in case we cant buy tickets there like they check our ID or something, we can run to ramsey. well we got in law and fit right in with the freshmen..shoot some were even bigger than us. I figured the ppl sellin tickets didnt know me but then Tri was sittin beside the girl sellin tickets. so as soon as Kayla got her ticket, I got her to buy mine also, just so Tri wont point out anything. so yup, there it is, just so yall know, me and Kayla are now freshmen *_~.
-me and Staci had to do our presentation on computer mice yesterday. at the end, I had to read this joke thing..which was really real sent out by IBM.
Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.
yea, imagine me readin that in front of all the perverts in our class. I managed to read it with a straight face too. Before I could get to the last paragraph, Ms. Clements stopped me.
-I'm applying at Member One right now so wish me luck (I already got a "theres no way in hell u'll get accepted. if u do, Member One must have no common sense to trust u with their money" from Ashy/David). we're havin a book signin event at the shop this Saturday too so I'm gonna be busy as hell. man, I got new clothes last week and I still want to go shoppin badly.
-startin yesterday, we have to run the mile every day now in gym. get this, the slacker got the fastest time in the class, 8:03. hehe who would have thought Thao could run right. I guess the cold weather and wanting to get the 4 laps over with was motivational enough for me. lolz I ate all these junk food during lunch tho. maybe thatz why I only got 9:13 today. anywayz we had free time yesterday after we ran the mile and me and my friends started this big circle to play badminton. we had the birdie goin 16 times, pretty good considering we were goofing around and laughin the whole time. aww I want to play badminton so bad now.
I was supposed to call My last night at midnight but I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was 12:45. believe it or not, I called her and she was already home from prom. we talked alllllll the way until 3:30 in the morning. I was so tired but I couldnt sleep, just lay in bed thinkin for an hour (even tho I really did not want to cuz I knew I had a busy day ahead). so I finally fell asleep at 4:30 but then I had to wake up at 7:30 to move the stuff from my old bedroom to my new bedroom. way too much work for the morning, especially only havin 3 hours of sleep. anywayz, what did the rest of my day consist. gamblin with little kids (winnin too! hehe, no shame at all in takin little kidz money..hey I was once a little kid too, its all good), shoppin at the Valley View Mall, and party in Martinsville. yep too tired to say anymore.
I'm going to sing "There She Goes" in the talent show =D
-ahhh I need powerpoint...right NOW. I'm gettin checked out tomorrow so I get to miss all of 4th and a little bit of 3rd (better than nothing). all we're doin in 4th is workin on our project...stupid stupid project. all me and Staci have to do is the powerpoint. I started halfway on it today but couldnt finish. I want to finish it tonight so I can leave it up to her to decorate it and do what she has to do tomorrow. well I dont have powerpoint and apparently, Kazaa doesnt either. of all things they dont have, I was so confident they would have it. good thing I didnt bet with David *aka Ashy* or I would have lost 10 bucks. anyway so I dont know what I'm goin to do now. I'm hopin someone will have powerpoint that I can download from...hoping and hoping. I know, I'm such a control freak. I could leave Staci to do the project but I don't know...I rather do things myself I guess. we could always work on the project Friday..if we can. I would much rather go with my original plan, I'll put in the information we need and she can just decorate it. well at this rate with no powerpoint, I dont know if this project will go the way I want. goodness and its due Monday too, not just the powerpoint but the whole freakin presentation. well still plenty of time..not stressed..yet.
-itz so great these last few days bein single. I guess durin winter its all cold so u want to have someone to cuddle with and so on, but now durin spring, everythings all carefree and bein single could never be more fun. plus, I got a new crush *_*...but I dont think anythingz gonna happen tho. I dunno, everyone says he likes me but he dont seem to be makin a move or anything. as for me, I'm too tired to make the first move.. haha. I dunno, sometimes the possibility of a new crush is more fun and exciting than dating that person soooooo we'll see *_~.
-I dont know what bought on this new change of attitude in me, but I'm sure not complaining. I guess I thought back to this time last year where I was so happy, having fun with my friends and flirting with whoever I choose but not doin anything seriously committed. these last few days seem like last year and I realized I was the one bringin all the drama and stress to myself. anyways, I dont know if its over but I sure am over it, and thats all that matters.
-aww I'm missing Reston so muchhh. I was so sad sunday cuz I didnt get a chance to say goodbye. I kept on tellin myself to wake up early but I guess I overslept. plus I didnt know they would leave that early. saturday night..or ahem sunday morning *_~ was the best. I didnt think I would ever have so much fun with ppl I just met for the first time. its sad they live all the way at Virginia Beach or Falls Church..oh yea and Richmond..Jon u outkast *wink* lolz. well least I'll see Brian, Lee, Thai, Hoa, and Ann this summer in DC. yea uh oh DC, here we come to corrupt again.
-omg I was tired as shit today, more tired than ever. I really didnt think I could make it through the whole day. math was killin me. in drivers ed, we listened to these insurance guys and then a police officer talk bout..u know..driving stuff. I kept on dozing off. biology was what I dreaded most. that class is already boring as it is but imagine how much worst it'll be when ur tired and sleepy, especially 3rd period when its perfect time to take a nap. surprisingly it wasnt that bad as I thought. I talked a lot to Miss Etter bout my weekend and other stuff so she wouldnt be able to teach us as much, hehe. good plan right. 4th period, thank god we had Mr. "Tobacco" as our sub. he really is the coolest guy, even tho he called me snobby and had a bad attitude...but its aight. all we did in class was listen to music and I chatted with my friends on AIM. cant believe schools up near dc get out at 2:15. anywayz I really should sleep to catch up on the sleep I missed this weekend.
-if I wasnt so lazy I would put up pics I took this weekend. lolz yea I never knew ppl can have so much fun while sittin around talkin...*x*. anywayz next subject.
-people are right. I guess I should have realized it sooner. I'm too good for all this crap. I stick around everytime but nothing gets better. I saw in Reston this weekend how many great guys there are out there, even better than the one I thought was the greatest..such a mistake right. tonight is the 9 months but does it matter? of course not. all I get is a 2 min chat and then "uh I have to go do hw". lol its more pathetic the more I think about it. I can only blame myself for being fooled by the sweet words everytime. really what kind of guy would find a replacement for the "girl he loves" in a few minutes? what kind of guy would say I want to spend forever with you but cant even spend any time in the present? exactly, there is no excuse. everytime its "sorry I'm stressed, so much stress, yea family, school". I'm understanding everytime but I got stress too. yet I'm still there for him, something he cant claim to be. well after thinkin bout it, I realized I'm overreacting. we both made the agreement its no commitment this time. and so it is, no commitment.
-ahhhh so cold. stupid me went to work today without a jacket. when I walked home from work at 5 all I had was a sweater. omg it was freezing exactly like winter. wasnt it last year at this time that I was able to walk outside with a short sleeve shirt and Capris with the sunshine shining and a cool breeze? what happened to those days?
-my friends are the best. lol funny how this morning I was pitying myself cuz I dont have friends who are there for me. they told me yesterday they couldnt stop by my shop and keep me company today cuz that Dawn of the Dead movie is comin to the Rocky Mount theater. yea made me feel special right. I asked Chanh to come but he couldnt so I figure I might as well take advantage of this gloomy weather and sleep in the shop. just as I was layin my head down and bout to go in depress mode, Sarah, Kayla, Josh, Zane, and Jason popped in. we goofed around the whole time and they left at 4:15 so they wouldnt miss the movie. yea how sweet of them to not go to the 3:00 showing and went to the 4:30 instead...what a big sacrifice...lol jk. thought that counts..sure sure. anyway I'm glad they stopped by tho.
-another nice surprise, Todd came by and we talked for bout 10 minutes or so. it's weird how talkin to someone u havent talk to in a long time makes u realize how much u missed them. hes still expelled until end of May...makes me mad thinkin bout it. I guess I got used to not seein him around school, but when talkin to him today, I remembered how great it was to talk to him and just hang around with him. sadly we only had 10 minutes to talk before he had to go and do errands.
-I havent write in this diary and vent out my feelings in so long. I cant believe u nosy ppl are sittin there readin my feelings right now. ahh whats wrong with u people?! lolz *_~. I hate the split feeling u have when ur heart's tellin u to do one thing but ur head is tellin u to do another. honestly what I feel right now is partly to get away from all, all these situation and people, just off by myself, leave the normal life I'm used to and start a new one, fresh anew. however the other part of me still is holdin on, not being able to let go. I dunno if I'm being foolish or what but I still think there is a chance, a small hope. I may be leading myself on to really nothing. for some reason I rather take that chance then to lead myself away from something..if there is anything. its not like I want to chase after something with the possibility of nothing. its just everytime I turn myself away, the memories and strong feelings pull me back. I want to let go of it all and shut everything out but its not an easy task. its only easy when I got the signal that its time to move on, that everyone else has already moved on so I should too. I just havent got that signal, nor have I got the signal to stay, that theres something worth here to go after.
-then again, why is it me making all the effort? why should I have to wait for a signal that never seems to come? why am I doing all this worrying when I shouldnt? on my part I really have said and done all that I can. theres only so much u can do for another person before u leave and leave it up to them for the rest. theres only so many lines I can throw, so many clues I can give, before the result comes out. but the result hasnt come out. does that mean there is no result? so this all is nothing that I'm going after. why and how did I got into this? why do I keep setting myself up for disappointments when I deserve better. the person is obviouly special but not special enough for all the begging I have done and efforts I have gave. I thought my expectations were too high but there are other ppl who are willin to reach my expectations and beyond...except for him. I have other options and choices but yet I pick the one who shows me the least appreciation and gives the least effort. all these other guys who treated me the best way they can, I made them my friends while the guy who puts me aside, I put him above everyone else. with everything in perspective, I have no regrets, just foolishness on my part. I cant blame anyone but myself for placing all my hope on one person. I should have known this whole time that I was setting myself up for something really great or a really hard fall. sadly it ended up being the second answer.
-anywayz so depressing right. I was doin so good not lettin all this get to me. then I had to talk to him again and the memory rushed back. I should have stayed away and block everything out, but I didnt want to shut him out like that. I do all this for him but he does nothing for me. this trip to DC for 3 days is exactly what I need, get away from it all. I'm not sure what will happen when I get back, what I should do. I havent seen any progress and I cant wait forever. I guess theres my signal, move on.
The night was dreary as the rain came down. she said, "Let's go for a ride away from town." All through the ride, she had nothing to say. It was almost as if something stood in her way. Then suddenly it came out of the blue. "My parents said I have to break up with you." "I'm sorry," she said, "I can't pretend." "My parents said our love must end." She took off her ring as tears came from his eyes. At the same time, the fear of losing her began to rise. With tears treatening to fall, he held them back. As he uncousiously parked the car on a railroad track he wrote something on a piece of paper. He held her hand and said "Read it later." He always wished they'd never part. He said in a sad voice "You just broke my heart." She opened the door and walked out into the rain. That's when she saw the lights of the train. Realizing too late what she had sighted. With a blink of an eye, metal collided. all she sould remember was blood running red, and someone saying, "I'm sorry he's dead." The ambulance sounded like an agony cry. Then she read the paper and it said... "Without you I'd die."
I need to think of the long-term when I'm makin decision instead of rite now. itz so tempting tho to pick whats best for rite now. I know time will heal everything but what do u do when not enough time has passed to heal the pain. this sounds horrible but I miss having a person whoz always there for me. itz nice to know at the end of the day someone is there for u, only I dont have that feeling anymore. I like the carefreeness and flirtyness of being single, but I miss that commitment with that one person from a relationship. yea nice place to be Thao, stuck middle of nowhere, unsatisfaction everywhere. I was telling Jessica about my situation and she just snapped, lord did that girl snap. she screamed so what u want is a person who is ur back-up just so u have someone and U CANT DO THAT. yea I was embarrassed for a moment but then I couldnt stop myself from laughing. ppl freakin out is always funny to me. anywayz I guess she got so upset and hyped bout it cuz shes goin through the same thing as me..except shes the "back-up person". dang that always happened to me, I'll tell ppl my situation and then they're goin through the same thing but in reverse position. lolz now I feel like I'm talkin bout some kind of sport so I'm gonna stop. anywayz this situation of mine will be over with soon. after the rain the sun will come out, unless the rain never stops and we all die from the flood.
-the national honor society ceremony was tonite. yeaaaaaaaaa wooooooo. aight now thatz over with.
-I'm not a mean person...really. every guyz is callin me the devil now. thanks to Mickel (hehe kute nickname rite) who started all this. can u believe it, David actually asked me for help in CST today. of course I had no clue what to do so hez back to callin me dumb again. */*
-yes this is a green color. today was St. Patrick's Day. I actually remembered this year, but I chose not to wear green. yea itz too "cliché" for me *_*. ppl were gettin on my nerves tho when they were goin "awwwww ur not wearing green, I get to pinch u!!!" yea pinch me and i'll punch u back. I'm dont mean to be anti-Irish or anything but u get tired after hearing that throughout the day. itz like Valentines Day, ppl get all hyped up just for the holiday. oh so its st. patrick's day so we have to wear green. dumbass Michael pinched me too, like really hard! he left a bruise and its still there (hehe I had to pull up my sleeves to check). he said it was nothing but the pinch hurt like hell. ahem good thing I had all my arm muscle there..ahem. anywayz yea happy green day.
